MS to Copy Apple's Genius Bar With "Guru Bar"

What a shocker. First, Windows...then ultimately Vista, a poor OS X knockoff. Then the Zune, a hideous iPod copy. Then the decision to make a Microsoft store to copy the successful Apple Stores. Now, Microshaft plans to copy yet another Apple innovation. They're hapless and devoid of ANY original thinking. I'm waiting for the ZunePhone or something.

A leaked presentation has exposed Microsoft's tentative plans for its retail stores -- and the high degree to which they'll imitate Apple stores, down to their layouts and even the presence of a dedicated "Guru Bar" for help.

A leaked proposal for Microsoft from design consulting firm Lippicott immediately provides hints of an Apple connection with a bright, open layout where the center and edges of the store are dominated by computers showing the "seamless" link between Windows PCs and peripherals. Themed areas would push specific products, such as home theater PCs, netbooks or Windows Mobile and Zune devices.

[From AppleInsider | Microsoft stores to mimic Apple's with "Guru Bars"]

Ballmer to Apple: Don't Act Like Microsoft!

Yes, this is dripping with irony. Ballmer is actually asking Apple to delink it's software from hardware. I guess when a company is successful and you have no answer for their innovations, you should just accuse them of wrongdoing while ignoring your own transgressions.

Ballmer Pleads For Openness To Compete With Apple

"At the Mobile World Congress, Steve Ballmer took aim at Apple's closed iPhone ecosystem with an ironic plea for openness: 'Openness is central because it's the foundation of choice.' Ballmer has apparently forgotten his company's own efforts to vertically integrate hardware and software (Zune, XBox), its history of vertically integrating software (tying SharePoint into Office, IE, SQL Server, Active Directory, etc.), as well as years of illegally tying Windows to Internet Explorer that only the US Justice Department could undo.

Here's Ballmer's Sign

Here you go! I pointed out this stupid bumble months ago. Why not go ahead and admit this for OS X and the Mac. Here's your sign, Steve: "I'm stupid."

Microsoft chief executive Steve Ballmer, who once laughed off the iPhone, has now conceded to Apple's edge in the market while hinting at a very different future for his company's Zune players.

Ballmer told the Financial Times (registration required) that the iPhone and BlackBerry have "clear market momentum" in the smartphone business.

Shortly after the iPhone was announced at Macworld 2007, Ballmer lambasted the Apple handset as the "most expensive phone in the world" while noting that Microsoft sells "millions and millions and millions of phones a year" while "Apple sells zero."

[From AppleInsider | Ballmer changes tune on iPhone, says no Zune phone]

Forget Vista and Zune flaws, Apple products impose 'tax'

When your OS market share is falling to a superior product (because your fallible copycat product--Vista--doesn't work), it's time to pull out the big guns and slam the competition. Here's the scoop: Do Macs cost more than PCs? Yes. Are they worth the price difference? YES, YES, YES. I just retired a G4 after 8 years of faithful service. How many PC users can say that?

By the time a PC user buys add-ons, security software, upgrades, downgrades to XP, and wastes hours troubleshooting the most banal OS issues that Mac users never confront, I assert that they've SPENT MORE than a Mac user! Clearly, the Mac is the better deal, in the long run, and it's just a better product. Otherwise, why would Microsoft keep copying--albeit poorly--EVERYTHING Apple does?

Microsoft again pitted Mac prices against similarly-configured Windows PCs from the likes of Dell and Hewlett-Packard.

Not surprisingly, Microsoft's comparisons put Apple's hardware at a disadvantage, with the "tax" ranging from 16 per cent, or $100, for the entry-level Mac mini to 25 per cent, or $300, for the lowest-priced iMac desktop.

Microsoft also played the recession card as it knocked Apple's prices. "We're in the midst of difficult economic times - declining retail sales and lower consumer confidence," a Microsoft spokeswoman said. "People are...demanding more substance with their style in a computer. They simply do not have the luxury of spending more for less.”

"Windows PCs are offering the best value on the market," she argued, "while Apple continues to impose high price premiums on their Mac designs, offering only modest discounts of 5 to 10 per cent."

[From Microsoft bangs 'Apple tax' drum once again as Apple announce new products - Mac - Macworld UK]

Maybe this is Microsuck's attempt to make you forget about their crappy OSX copy called Vista (since the Mojave campaign isn't working), or maybe they're trying to make you forget that the Zune recently stopped working because of bad programming.

Here’s the deal. Microsoft botched the code in the firmware for its Zune30GB handheld players. Like a ticking time bomb, the problem started exploding for Zune owners once 2008 started transitioning into 2009. Users worldwide quickly found that their Zunes were completely locked out. Locked out as in "completely inoperable," that is: Zunes began resetting without warning or completely turning off. When a user flipped the power back on, the Zune operating system would begin to load and freeze on the actual loading screen. And no amount of begging, pleading, or cursing could fix the issue for a hapless user.Microsoft was quick on the "solution," which I’ve paraphrased thusly: Wait it out.

[From ZuneGate ’08: What really happened | Macworld]

Leap-year bug kills Zune

To quote Star Wars: Now Ballmer's failure is complete.

December 31, 2008 (IDG News Service) Microsoft's Zune 30GB music player just wasn't ready for a leap year.

That's what owners of the devices discovered Wednesday morning when they awoke to find their players frozen and unworkable.

The problem turned out to be "a bug in the internal clock driver related to the way the device handles a leap year," Microsoft Zune spokesman Matt Akers said in a posting to Zune forums Wednesday. The issue does not affect all Zune players, but all models of the Zune 30GB are potentially affected, he said.

Zune is Microsoft's alternative to Apple's popular iPod devices.

The bug disabled the players on Dec. 31, the last day of a leap year. Microsoft expects that the bug will resolve itself by Jan. 1, when the device's internal clock will reset itself.   [From Zune chokes on leap-year bug]

Ballmer, MS, and their cronies at their stupidity again

I really need to write about something else. This blog is turning into a "I hate Microsoft" column. But they're just so hateable.

The iPhone whining from Microsoft is apparently ceaseless. Too bad the iPhone WAS A SUCCESS, eh Ballmer and Allard?

MacNN | MS Zune chief: iPhone is a "lousy" iPod:

"It’s a lousy iPod," Allard explains. "You can’t skip a track without looking at it. You can’t go running with the thing."

Ballmer bawls out Apple iPhone as 'no hoper':

Microsoft's boss Steve Ballmer slammed the iPhone last week, saying it has "no hope" of gaining a foothold in the mobile phone market.

Ballmer clearly hasn't heard much about the one million AT&T customers in the US already signed-up for information on the new product when it ships.

On the security-and-utter-bull-crap front, Computerworld magazine published this gem from a hacking contest winner. Obviously, MS is trying their damnedest to reverse the PR image that their pathetic OSX-wannabe is not the malware slut it once was:

Vista more secure than Mac OS:

I have found the code quality, at least in terms of security, to be much better overall in Vista than Mac OS X 10.4. It is obvious from observing affected components in security patches that Microsoft’s Security Development Lifecycle (SDL) has resulted in fewer vulnerabilities in newly-written code. I hope that more software vendors follow their lead in developing proactive software security development methodologies.

It wasn't all bad, though, in that he actually had some good security advice for Macites:

I recommend that Mac users make their primary user a non-admin account, use a separate keychain for important passwords, and store sensitive documents in a separate encrypted disk image. I think these are fairly straightforward steps that many users can take to better protect their sensitive information on their computer.

Mmm hmm...oh yeah, it's real secure (and energy-friendly). Later we read:

Vista Battery Problems and Microsoft Security Update:

A Domain Name System (DNS) zero-day bug had been found that could expose vulnerabilities throughout Microsoft's entire server line. There are indications that Microsoft will also include a DNS patch in the Tuesday round.

Yep, it's just plain more secure than OS X. We then read this:

How Internet Criminals Will Evade Vista's Safeguards:

Think malware will fade away with Vista? Sorry. There's about as much chance of the thriving throngs of online criminals packing up shop as there is of Microsoft doing the same.

And MS's gobble-everything-up mentality hasn't gone away, seeing that they are unable to muster any innovations of their own accord; when someone is actually competing with them, they'll just work at acquiring a service or product that they just can't seem to deliver well on their own:

Reports: Microsoft pursuing Yahoo:

Microsoft is feeling increasing pressure to compete with Google, which plans to beef up its portfolio with a $3.1 billion purchase of online advertising company DoubleClick Inc. Microsoft currently trails both Yahoo and Google in the lucrative and growing business of Web search, even as Google increases its development of Web-based software that directly competes with Microsoft's lucrative Office suite.

Technorati Tags: vista, news, opinion, osx, apple, macintosh, tip, gmail, microsoft, security, google

Microsoft bullcrap of the month

Microsoft Excel fails math test - Yahoo! News:

In a blog pst, Microsoft employee David Gainer said that when computer users tried to get Excel 2007 to multiply some pairs of numbers and the result was 65,535, Excel would incorrectly display 100,000 as the answer.

Gainer said Excel makes mistakes multiplying 77.1 by 850, 10.2 by 6,425 and 20.4 by 3,212.5, but the program appears to be able to handle 16,383.75 times 4.

“Further testing showed a similar phenomenon with 65,536 as well,” Gainer wrote Tuesday.

He said Excel was actually performing the calculations correctly, but when it comes time to show the answer on the screen, it messes up.

Remember this? Steve Ballmer said the iPhone would be a failure. Obviously, he's a genius...because it sure has been a big failure, LOL! Now, we can see the Zune looking more and more like the iPod:

Microsoft is upgrading its Zune line and testing a website where owners of the MP3 players can socialize as the technology giant strives to wrest market share from Apple's beloved iPods.